Blessed Beyond a Doubt – January 16, 2018
It happens to just about every kid at some point – back talking. The sassy and negative replies can sneak up on a parent, but you can stop the back talking with these 4 techniques to end rude responses.
Quickly defuse the situation and end the bad habit with this method that works for you and your family on a comfortable and effective level.
Praise The Positive – It’s easy to focus on the negative and forget to praise your family for positive behaviors. It’s not uncommon for parents to be quick to jump into action when a negative situation arises, so support the good things with understated praise. You don’t have to throw glitter in the air and give out stickers, but a simple smile and show of appreciation of the desired responses will be an amazing tactic.
Disarm Negative Responses With Kindness – The notion of killing with kindness began in an English proverb but Shakespeare made the saying famous in ‘Taming of the Shrew.’ The conception stuck around and for good reason. Combating negative back talking with more negativity can actually make the problem worse. The rude response actually becomes a power struggle and by handling the back talking with equally sassy retorts you sink to their level and it becomes an acceptable behavior. Instead, pull your child aside and inform them that rude responses are not a good way to handle the situation and ask if something is wrong. Often, the heart-to-heart eliminates tension and allows you to constructively correct the behavior.
Set the Rules and Keep Your Cool – Once the back talking begins, immediately address the issue with a simple explanation of why the rude responses won’t be tolerated. Next, give your child a way to express their anger or frustration with an example of how you need them to handle their feelings. Finally, remember to keep your cool. You might want to snap back with a retort of your own, but avoid fighting fire with fire.
No Second Chances – Generally speaking, parents tend to hand out a warning before dolling out a consequence. It’s tempting to keep things fair while letting your child vent, however back talking can be a different beast to handle. Avoid responses that entail, “If you do that one more time…” Immediately work to correct the negativity with a consequence. It doesn’t have to be a severe consequence. At first the technique may seem to spark more issues, but as you continue holding your child accountable they will understand the process.
Finding the technique to stop back talking and end rude responses might be a series of trial and error.
Don’t give up!
Raising a family is never easy, but it’s always incredibly rewarding.
